Skittles

My locker opens into another dimension. Do I need to worry about this?

You know what really puts a spring in my step? Jet packs

Never take a cyclops to a 3D movie unless you want to hear about what a rip-off it is for two hours.

There’s a first time for everything except déjà vu.

I guess I need a dragon-proof bird feeder now. Stupid dragons.

It’s hard to keep a superhero identity secret when your cape is dry clean only.

One of these days the fire hydrant is going to get back at my dog, and it’s not going to be pretty.

True fact: Tyrannosaurs have small hands to help them get into prehistoric cookie jars.

Robot, ninja, pirate is the real-life version of rock, paper, scissors.

My new submarine cost an arm and a leg, which is cheap if you buy from an octopus.

I finally finished my life-size jigsaw puzzle of the Earth. You've probably seen it.

Time is on my side, but neither of us is very good at basketball.

When life gives you lemons, make abstract lemon art. Life won’t expect that.

The key to throwing yourself a surprise party is planning really far in advance, or not at all.

Okay so these are just a few of Skittle's facebook statuses. I really loved them and knew that the only way you would read them is if I posted them for you. Go to http://www.facebook.com/#!/skittles for more.