Girl Saves School From Certain Death

Music explodes into the air. Not sweet melodious music that people listen to but ugly offkey annoying sound that disguises itself as music. Everyone groaned. The music continued to blare. It was getting worse. We couldn't stand it. Students were banging their heads into walls, staring stupidly into space, moaning pathetically and generally sinking into a pit of despair so deep and evil that even The Princess Bride could not compete.

Who would save them? If someone didn't do something soon the consequences would be devastating. Some of the students were chewing off their hands! Others had taken to stuffing their ears with dirt clods. Parents were not going to be happy, the school might have to get shut down!
Suddenly January Galaxy had an idea. She too had been a part of the head slamming people but when the blood trickled down her face and she could still hear the music she decided it was time to take action. She quickly gathered her forces. One Ipod...check, one speaker...check, a microphone....check, a group of followers...check, some assistants...check, a rockin' outfit....no check, Oh well not neccesary, polos are cool too.
January gathered all her stuff, hooked the Ipod to the speaker and blasted Own It, by The Black-eyed Peas. She and her assitants air rocked that song to its death. The applause was astounding. January had to autograph bellybuttons and arms. The crowd was in a fever. But best of all, the horrendous so called music was forever silenced. The Battle of the Bands was over and January conquered them all.